P-LINDY-X, Week 3: “It hurts to lift my recovery drink.”

P-LINDY-X: Extreme P90X journal
By Bobby “extremely” White

Bobby is currently doing P90X, a popular work-out routine that has become sort of a fad among Lindy Instructors. Each week, he’ll give an update on how the workout is going, explain one of the 12 exercises, and review the best and worst foods he’s eating for the protein regimen.

DAY 21

For the first three weeks, the P90X workout is this:
Day 1: Chest and Back, Day 2: Plyometrics (jumping), Day 3: Shoulders and Arms, Day 4: Yoga, Day 5: Legs and back, Day 6: Kempo (a martial-art type cardio workout), and Day 7: Lying in the fetal position, whimpering (rest day). On Days 1, 3, and 5, there is an additional Ab workout.

Now that the Week 2 energy boost has left as quickly as it came, my body is suddenly realizing what I’m putting it through. Almost every day a body part is sore, and if I don’t get eight hours of sleep, I feel beyond terrible. The five regiments of protein a day, though obviously making my performance better, are also having adverse side effects, and my girlfriend, having a sensitive nose, cannot stand to be around me for an hour or two after eating a protein bar.

It’s a tough line to walk well—you have to work hard to get the maximum results from the workout, but if you work too hard, you can’t walk the next day or you get injured and have to stop the regimen. My left arm got tweaked in a concentrated curl, and it hurt to swing-out for a week. I injured a toe (It wasn’t started by P90X, but the workout didn’t help it) and so that’s currently making life difficult. It is, coincidentally, the perfect time for a recovery week, which is happening next week. Maybe it’s planned that way?

Workout breakdown: SHOULDERS AND ARMS

P90X Shoulders and ArmsMid-week brings a welcome change of pace from the first two workouts, which give the entire body a rough beating. Shoulders and arms concentrates on the smaller muscles (guess which ones), which means the workout is less of a chore and less soreness the next day. The workout goes through five sets of exercises that target, in order, shoulders, biceps, and triceps. So there’s a ton of curls, chair dips, and exercises that work well with the fitness bands.

As Tony Horton repeats several times in the DVD, the arms start at the shoulders. “Of course, Tony,” I said. “Dur.” But when I thought about it more, and did the workout, I had a hit my-head-moment. In thinking of getting in shape for throwing women around, I envisioned in my head strong thighs and biceps; but that’s wrong. The real answer is strong thighs and shoulders. And biceps. And calves. And back. Everything, really. Anyway, ever since that realization, I look forward to this workout in getting to my goals.

Workout Song: “Outsiders” by Franz Ferdinand. This song helps me out in every workout, but is especially helpful when I do moves I dislike, like Chair dips. (more…)

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P-LINDY-X: The Extreme P90X Workout Journal

By Bobby “Extremely” White

tony horton p90x taskmasterPROLOGUE

“Fuck You, Tony Horton.”

I rarely cuss outside of airports, so you know I mean it. But whether I can help it or not, this is the phrase I’ll say, in my head at least, every day for 90 days. When I’ve done 80 push-ups in an hour and it’s time to do 10 more with one arm, I’ll say it.  After I have touched the floor in a squat and exploded into the air for the fifteenth time out of thirty in a 30-second-timed exercise, I’ll yell it. And when I’ve finished the final lunge exercise and can’t stand up in the shower, I’ll mention it to the cat.

Who is this Tony Horton? Aside from being a tight, bumpy pile of dyed-hair and tank tops, an ageless 50-year-old who takes being prickishly annoying to such an extreme that it often reaches a rare flavor of charismatic, he’s a professional trainer who’s developed several popular work out series. Most of them are the kind they have infomercials for at 3 in the morning in hotel rooms. His masterpiece, however, is a 12-disk set of sand-kicking sadomasochism called P90X. It is the Moby Dick of workouts.

I first learned about P90X when I noticed that my friend, professional swing dancer Nick Williams, had transformed from your generic out-of-shape American guy into a ripped Clydesdale horse over a period of six months. (more…)

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