by Robert White

Bobby “Extremely” White is currently in the middle of P90X, a 90-day work-out regimen that’s growing popularity with swing dance instructors. Each week, he reviews one of the programs 12 exercises, and gives an update on how it’s going and where it hurts. Read the previous post (week 6) here.

DAY 49

The second month of P90X goes like this: Day 1: Shoulders, Chest and Triceps, Day 2: Plyometrics, Day 3: Arms, Day 4: Yoga, Day 5: Legs, Day 6: Kempo (a martial-art type cardio workout), and Day 7: Lying in the fetal position, whimpering (rest day).

I wonder a lot these days if movies and television have wired my generation to think that things come easier than they actually do. Every guy is destined to meet that quirky, witty girl, who also happens to have a perfect body. That promotion is just a bold risk and charismatic smile away. Or, think of the training montage, for instance. In almost any sport or martial arts movie, like Rocky 1 through 13, half of the movie is spent with a down-on-his-luck hero getting kicked around by the enemy, and finally deciding that it’s time to stick up for himself. Then a five minute 80s song plays while we see our hero get stronger, pump iron, drink raw eggs, download all he ever needed to know about kong fu through a portal in the back of his head, and perfect the crane kick.

Obviously, as an audience member, we don’t want to see the months of hard-work—the montage is much more affective entertainment tool. But, at the same time, it implants many of us with the romantic ideal that getting into good shape should be a fast, dramatic experience with an inspirational soundtrack. When, in reality, getting into shape can be boring, annoying, smelly, painful, and anything but romantic.

Training montages don’t really capture the really impressive bit. The impressive moment comes when the out-of-shape guy with a full schedule and a family pushes play on the workout program. The impressive moment comes fifteen times during a workout, when you get to the point where you have to work HARD to do another pull up, or push up, or lunge, or hold that yoga position, and you grit your teeth and do it. The impressive moment comes when you realize how many hundreds of hours you’ve spent trying to accomplish something, something a training montage could never do.

Workout breakdown: X STRETCH

When rest day comes around, usually the last thing I want to do is put in the optional Stretch X DVD, taking yet another hour of my life and spending another hour with Tony Horton. But, at the Balboa on the Potomac event, my friend Heather Ballew and myself decided that some good stretching would be great before a dance. And we were right. Also, for a dancer, it is probably more crucial to do the Stretch than other P90Xers, because of flexibility. Stretch-X focuses on flexibility, not to mention teaches you a stretch for every part of your body for the next time you feel tightness or start to pull something. It’s also important to remember that as you build muscles doing all the other workouts, you can lose flexibility.

Workout Song: Finally, I don’t have to just listen to music when I work out. For this video, I watch Simpsons episodes I’ve seen; I know what happens in them, so I don’t have to worry about keeping up, but it does keep me entertained while I stretch. Probably doesn’t make for the most useful stretch experience though, because my mind often wonders from the stretch and to the episode.

That night, I feel great for dancing.

STATS
Total abs ripped: 4,054

X-TREME COSTS

Hopefully, I’m done buying stuff for a week or two, except for protein. $50

TOTAL COST SO FAR: Approx. $1,190

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