by Casey Schneider

Dear Casey is a satirical twist on the advice columns found in news media. Here’s a recent question answered on WhiteHeat. Send your questions to casey@lindybloggers.com

Hey Casey,

I have a question under the general topic of “Dance Floor Etiquette” (which really deserves it’s own thread, methinks!).

A friend of mine who works in IT support was recently complaining about how many of his friends/family ask him to “just take a quick look” at their computer issues when he’s on his off-time. It got me to thinking about people who make their living teaching Lindy Hop/Swing dancing and how there are no distinct lines between what kind of feedback/help it’s appropriate to solicit on the social floor (after a class, when you have not paid for it) versus when you should think of getting a private lesson. It seems many lindy hop instructors are friendly folks and are happy to answer questions, but I’ve also seen some being “cornered” at dances by people asking lots of detailed questions that turn into a little mini-private lesson, which usually might cost something like $75/hour from the best instructors. It’s such a unique situation because what many dancers choose to do in their free time is, of course, dance, so the line between what is done for a living and for free time is not as distinct as, say, an IT professional who works at an office and then does other stuff in free time. What are your thoughts on this, as someone who makes a portion of her income through your teaching/dancing expertise?

Let me make a clear disclaimer here, on a personal note: I recently started teaching introductory Lindy Hop with Chris Chapman and it’s been the highlight of my week every week consistently since I started, and I am always more than happy to help out any of my students and their friends at any venue; that however is just my personality, and also a reflection of the fact that my dancing skills at this point are not as much a commodity as those who have a greater wealth of knowledge/experience. Teaching dance does not constitute a major source of income from me, as it does for many other instructors as well. So, I’m not asking because I’m in this situation, but I’m asking because I realize that others are put in the situation often and I don’t recall hearing anyone define any “rules” about feedback on the social floor specifically from people who make their living/a good portion of it through their dance related expertise.

Cher,

As with most things, I have a strong opinion. I appreciate your metaphor, and will provide a similar one:

Your next door neighbor is a professional landscape architect and he’s fairly well known in his field. (Oh yeah, you have a new house and need a bunch of landscaping done.) In his spare time, he (obviously) loves to landscape his own yard, and your infrequent chats have all landed on the discussion of gardening and landscaping. Occasionally, he’ll might give you a tip in passing like “that area in the back would be perfect for a water feature.”

One sunny Saturday afternoon, your neighbor is working in his yard. It’s a beautiful day and he’s quite obviously enjoying himself. You say Hi as you walk past and he offers a friendly Hello. You’ve got this burning question about the type of water feature you want in the back yard, how big it should be, what he thinks it will cost, etc. As he’s pulling out his weed wacker (no double entendre intended), you decide to start asking these questions.

Now, it’s my expectation that your neighbor is probably working on his yard for his own benefit. He’s having a good time - doing what he loves doing. Your questions, while not unreasonable in and of themselves, do not come at the best time. That is, perhaps a passing “You know, I have a lot of questions about the best plan for my yard - maybe I can set up a consultation appointment with you sometime soon” would be a better approach. Or, “You’ve got a booth at the Home and Garden Show next week, right? Maybe I can stop by then for an informal chat?”

The point is, instructors’ knowledge is a commodity - if you’re not willing to pay for it, others are. Most swing dancers love the dance and love talking about it just as much, so given the right environment (after finishing up a workshop, or a dance following the class they regularly teach at), most will be happy to chat you up, give tips, and share their knowledge. However, instructors are also regular social dancers, too. When engrossed in conversations with friends, after socially dance with them, or even if their cooling off by the fan, it should be respected that they are also on a social outing like you. Regardless of not getting paid for it (which I’d say most instructors would not be worked up about), they might just not want to talk shop all the time).

I’ve definitely benefited from vasts amount of pro bono shared knowledge, as do most dancers. I wouldn’t want to see this knowledge held in an ivory tower where only those with significant cash can access it. It’s just a matter of being respectful of other people’s time and their right to just enjoy dancing.

Amen.
Casey

Send your questions to casey@lindybloggers.com and read her previous post Dear Casey: Moving for dancing and top destination Seattle

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