by Robert White

P-LINDY-X: Extreme P90X journal
By Bobby “extremely” White

Bobby is currently doing P90X, a popular work-out routine that has become sort of a fad among Lindy Instructors. Each week, he’ll give an update on how the workout is going, explain one of the 12 exercises, and review the best and worst foods he’s eating for the protein regimen.

DAY 14

For the first three weeks, the P90X workout is this:
Day 1: Chest and Back, Day 2: Plyometrics (jumping), Day 3: Shoulders and Arms, Day 4: Yoga, Day 5: Legs and back, Day 6: Kempo (a martial-art type cardio workout), and Day 7: Lying in the fetal position, whimpering (rest day). On Days 1, 3, and 5, there is an additional Ab workout.

I had a strange day the Sunday of my second week of P90X. For no reason I could find, I felt sluggish and spacey. The last thing I wanted to do was workout, but I did it anyway. I took a ton of breaks, drank almost a gallon of water during the workout, and, oddly, did most of the workouts very well. I even finished up with one of the best ab workouts I’ve ever done.

It made me fully realize something about myself that I have noticed in my peripheral vision for awhile, but never stared in the face; What I am capable of and what I think I am capable of are often completely off. And this goes both ways. Some days I feel I will murder a workout, or clean the house, or finish the experimental pop album, and it doesn’t happen. Other days, like this one, all I felt like doing was lying in bed reading all day, but every time I went into a squat, or did a sit-up, I was amazed at how easy it felt and how little it hurt. It makes me think about similar experiences in my dancing, writing, money management, everything. It’s funny how little I know myself.

Also strange: that very night, almost in a row, I drank three glasses of water, one glass of fruit juice, one glass of recovery drink, one glass of sweet tea, and one glass of milk, with no desire to eat food at all. I guess I was dehydrated, but I’m not sure how, as I drank ample amounts of water all weekend.

Workout breakdown: PLYOMETRICS

When Nick Williams first told me about P90X, he mentioned Plyometrics as a particularly good workout for getting in good shape to dance fast Lindy Hop. A workout of jumping moves, its concentration on building the lungs and the thighs does seem to make it perfect for our sport of running around, picking up women, bending with the knees, and throwing them. I have some fun doing this workout, but mainly I have fun knowing that I’m doing this workout. It’s exhausting, everyone on the screen is often in misery, and when you’re done, you can’t help but feel like you’ve really accomplished something difficult. However, be careful, if you give it a little too much, it’s hard to stand up in the shower afterwards.

I have to give major props to Tony for this one. Throughout the workout, he does a great job either trying to distract you or motivate you (or annoy you, depending on how you’re feeling that day) so you don’t think so much about your legs being on fire and your heart rate going through the roof. Also, he has a guy with only one leg do the workout just to remind you that you have no excuse not to do it.

The only thing I don’t like in this workout is a guy named Dominique in the back who jumps really high, that Tony, and a few of my friends, think of as being a plyometric badass. First off, he jumps high, but rarely ever goes low, so it doesn’t seem very impressive, and—something only a dancer would get annoyed at—he’s usually a little off time from the others, which is annoying as hell if I watch him while I work out. To top it off, his form is terrible. Tony, on the other hand, has gorgeous form…he goes low, jumps high, and does it all so fluid that it’s like he’s going slower, which makes Dominique look frantic (It makes me think of great fast dancers.) Some people say they have a goal to keep up with Dominique in the plyo video…I have a goal to take him to plyometric school. (High-fives self.) I’ll let you know how that goes.

Afterthought: This is also one of the first workouts where you begin wondering which of the people in the videos Tony has made out with.

Choice Tony Horton Quote: “This is Pam, we call her ‘Blam!’ ” and “Plyometrics… if you want to perform better on the court…(deuchebag smile) if you want to perform better everywhere… this workout is for you.” (‘Blam’ smiles wryly…have Toney and she…?)

Workout Song: I have a workout playlist, and put it on random every time I work out. Often, a great song will come on at a time when I need inspiration. For this workout, “Dancing Choose” by TV on the Radio gets me through the hard ones.

The Next Day, my legs were sore a little, but most of the time, if I stretch right at the end of the plyo workout, I’ll be fine the next day. I do occasionally break out into spontaneous jumps and see how many I can do, though.

STATS
Total jump moves done in one P90X Plyometric workout: Roughly 900 to 1000

Total Abs crunched (and, supposedly, ripped) so far: 1913

X-TREME COSTS
This week I traveled to teach, which means I had to put my bands and DVD case into a suitcase and hope for an hour or two spare time to do the workouts. The trouble is, my laptop is elderly and prefers to stay home in the easy chair. So, I’m going to need a small DVD player. You can get these for under $100, but after some research, I chose this Sony model, which has had excellent critical praise for its durability and picture quality; After having it for a few months, I agree, it’s great—and it’s been worth it to have for everyday P90X, as well. Also, you’ll need a travel case to keep it safe. Approx. $180.

Jumping around so much reminds me that I need a new pair of sneakers if I’m going to take care of my joints. I haven’t bought a pair of Nikes in ten years. $60.

It always helps to have some workout music, but, being a brooding minor-key music fan, my Sufjan Stevens and Radiohead playlists won’t cut it. I’ll have to download some new music. $20.

Protein! $50 a week.

TOTAL COST SO FAR: Approx. $630

X-TREME EPICURISM

P90X Recovery Drink
Cost: $40 a tub; (30 drinks—a month’s supply)

Protein: Sadly, only 10g. Perhaps a ploy to get you to also buy their energy bars? I’m not biting.

Aftertaste: None!

Revue: In almost every P90X DVD, Tony Horton can’t help but mention the P90X Recovery drink. It sounds like another pushy salesman pitch from Beachbody.com, but I decided to try it one time just to see what all the fuss was about. I have to say that it is almost worth working out for an hour for just to have an excuse to drink a freezing-cold glass of the stuff while you’re a sweating, exhausted mess. (Purely my opinion). It taste like a melted orange cream popsicle, maybe a little on the grainy side (it is mostly powdered whey, after all). Other than that, it’s chock full of vitamins and minerals.

In the Beachbody Email Newsletter I get, there was even an article about how this stuff is the perfect hangover cure. I wouldn’t go so far as that; a glassful of powdered whey the morning after might become part of the problem rather than part of the solution, but it’s worth a try. The downside is that it doesn’t have much protein in it, considering my eating goals, and it only comes in one flavor, “smooth orange,” which is great unless you don’t like the taste of melted orange cream popsicles. And, of course, as with anything that taste good in these reviews, it’s got a lot of sugar in it.

Beachbody makes a lot of P90X stuff…protein bars, vitamins, horse steroids…but the one Tony really pushes on the DVDs is the recovery drink, for good reason; he knows how much people will like it. A personal tip: When I have about fifteen minutes left in every workout, I mix a glass and put it in the freezer. When I’m done, I pull it out, stir it up again, and slowly dip my balls in it.

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