by Robert White

WEEK 1: “Please, do NOT touch my pec.”
P-LINDY-X: Extreme P90X journal
By Bobby “extremely” White

Bobby is currently doing P90X, a popular work-out routine that has become sort of a fad among Lindy Instructors. Each week, he’ll give an update on how the workout is going, explain one of the 12 exercises, and review the best and worst foods he’s eating for the protein regimen.

DAY 7

For the first three weeks, the P90X workout is this:
Day 1: Chest and Back, Day 2: Plyometrics (jumping), Day 3: Shoulders and Arms, Day 4: Yoga, Day 5: Legs and back, Day 6: Kempo (a martial-art type cardio workout), and Day 7: Lying in the fetal position, whimpering (rest day). On Days 1, 3, and 5, there is an additional Ab workout.

After a week, I’m walking a lot easier than I suspected, though this is only because I’ve taken it easy in these exercises. As a dancer, it’s interesting to see how similar learning work-out moves is to learning solo dance steps; our bodies have to be doing exactly a specific thing in order for us to get the effect we want. A person who has never done these exercises before is going to spend awhile getting the form right, and I would recommend that anyone starting off P90X should go through each workout the first time not worrying about how many push-ups they can do, but simply making sure they’re doing the exercise right. Next week is when I really start pushing myself.

Otherwise, in just one week, I have a noticeable increase in energy (which sucked when I was chained to a desk at work, but was great for when I went out dancing) and even see a little difference in the way I look. The main conflict is still time; some days of the week I only have an hour free time, which used to be relaxation time now and is now used for working out. Though the workouts tend to energize me and help me get through the day, being obliged to do them during free time is a frustration.

WORKOUT BREAK DOWN: CHEST AND BACK
The first workout everyone in P90X does is “Chest and Back.” When you see the infomercials, it’s easy to expect P90X would start off the bat with tons of new fangled moves named after power tools. However, your first P90X experience is almost nothing but nine different kinds of push-ups and pull-ups. But around the time you begin to suspect you’ve been cheated out of your money, you start doing them, and any doubt you had in the quality of the workout leaves.

This is where you start to develop a personal relationship with P90X that no one will be able to take away from you—namely, finding out which exercises you absolutely hate. And everyone‘s different. (For some reason, I love the Dime-bomber push-ups, but can’t stand the inclined push-ups.)
The workout might not show you anything you haven’t done before, but there’s a reason why such exercises have been around since man first got sand kicked in his face.

Workout Song: I have a workout playlist, and put it on random every time I work out. Often, a great song will come on at a time when I need inspiration. For this workout, Adrenaline! by the Roots came on when I was dreading a hated set of push-ups and half way through the song I was ready to tackle anything.

The Next Day, my pecs hurt really bad. Now, my girlfriend has this way of randomly poking me, because she never had a sibling, and for some reason she chose MULTIPLE times to poke me hard in the pec despite my screams of pain and her promise that she forgot and wouldn’t do it again. I can only assume it’s because the workout made my pecs bulge in such a muscular way that her natural animalistic desire to touch my incredible body expressed themselves subconsciously in this fashion. Either that or she was getting back at me for leaving a basket of clean laundry on the floor for two weeks.

It’s still there.

STATS
Total push-ups done first time in this work out: 85
Total pull-ups: 86 (with one foot on a foot stool several feet away; I can hardly do three pull-ups totally by myself)

Total Abs crunched (and, supposedly, ripped) in Week 1: 880

X-TREME COSTS

Doing the first round of push-ups alone lets me know I should get push-up bars to keep my wrists comfortable: I chose Nike’s plastic grip ones, which are relatively cheap. They’re okay, but push-ups might feel more solid (and more extreme) with iron ones. By the way, though he doesn’t use them as such, these are also great for the “table” moves in the Yoga-X and Core Synergistics workouts.
$20

Damnit, I need a solid chair that can I can do all these exercises on. Kate and Nina’s antique chairs keep breaking. Worthless junk…I found an extreme black metal one at Target.$10

Whether it be a can of chicken, an energy bar, or a mixed drink, a serving of protein is about $2. At five a day, that’d be $70 a week; but, it’s easy to miss a serving or get one in a daily meal. So, we’ll call it $50 a week.

TOTAL COST SO FAR: Approx. $325

X-TREME EPICURISM
Here’s some of the great and terrible energy bars I’ve tasted recently.

Cliff Builder’s Bar (Chocolate, Cookies and Cream, and Chocolate Mint)
Cost: $21 for 12 from the website. Around $2 a bar in stores.
Protein: 20g
Aftertaste: Lingering taste of clay minimal.
Revue: Clif bars in general are a delicious treat, despite looking like compacted sawdust. Their energy Bar is no exception. It’s one of the best energy bars I’ve tasted. However, it’s easy to see why; coated in cocoa, and using a lot of brown rice syrup, it accounts for 25% of one’s daily saturated fat, so you can’t eat five of them a day for a protein regiment. The Chocolate Mint was the best, in my opinion; probably because the mint helps cover up some of the cardboard aftertaste you’re bound to get from an energy bar. Other stats: 0% trans fat; 0% cholesterol; 30g of carbs (10% ); 4% fiber (%16).

Power Bar 20: Vanilla Yogurt
Cost: $ 1.96
Protein: 20g
Aftertaste: Not too bad, though the chalky during-taste makes up for the lack of aftertaste.
Revue: This tastes as good as a Powerbar that uses yogurt can get. Which is not good, but at least it’s healthier than the Chocolate-covered bars. I accidentally lost the stats to this one when I washed a pair of work out shorts.

South Beach “Crispy Meal Bar”
Cost: $2.29
Protein: 19g
Aftertaste: No strange aftertaste in the peanut-butter; the “cinnamon crème” can linger around a bit.
Revue: At 220 calories, the South beach bar is a diet bar, but still packs tons of protein and tastes delicious. And the Peanut butter flavor is probably the best all-around bar I’ve had yet (for a person who likes peanut butter). It’s got some good-tasting saltiness to its sweetness (15% of daily sodium value), so you don’t feel like you’re having a snack rather than a really disappointing candy bar, like some of the other protein bars. Other stats: 15% of daily fat (0% trans fat), 20% of daily fiber, 9% of your carbs.

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Tags: exercise, fitness, p90x