by Casey Schneider

Dear Casey is a satirical twist on the advice columns found in news media. During the past months, we introduced her column through archived articles from WhiteHeat. It’s now time to send in your questions - please do so at casey@lindybloggers.com

Dear Casey,

Coming from a different continent I have encountered many cultural shocks while living in North America. There is one particular thing that I still don’t quite understand in the context of social dancing which is the “hugging system”. In my country we don’t hug, we kiss cheeks to greet or say goodbye to people. So how exactly does it work and what is a “half hug”? If I dare to throw in a second question when is it ok to ask for a second dance? Since again europeans and americans seem to diverge on this too.

Thank you,
Lost-in-translation

Dear Lost,

The first time I went to the UK on a business trip, one of my clients tried to kiss me on the cheek and I literally ducked my head out of the way.  Um, awkward.

The half hug is typically a one armed hug - or really “scooping” up someone from the side, usually accompanied by the shoulders and head shrugging in toward the person.  Translation: I don’t know you or like you well enough for a full hug.  But don’t take it too personally. Many Americans have big “space bubbles” (including me) and strangers’ lips near my face is not generally a priority on my list.  Unless I’m extremely drunk and staying in a hostel in Rome.

As for your second question, it’s purely left to your ability to gauge your partner’s relative level of enjoyment for the dance.  It’s generally pretty clear if the dance was totally AWESOME, because
you’ll both be stoked…easy enough to ask for another.  The line is blurrier when you had a pretty good time, but your partner is more stoic about the experience.  You can either just stand there and see
if the other person walks away at the end of the song…if not, then ask him/her or maybe s/he will ask you.  Or, just risk it.  I’ve adopted a new mantra for 2009, which is “‘What the hell?’ is usually
the correct response”.  (I got that off a magnet in the airport.) It’s a minor risk, given that the worst outcome will be is probably a “No thank you.”

So, what the hell,
Casey

Send your questions to casey@lindybloggers.com and read last week’s Dear Casey: how to deal with your dance partner’s odor (smell)

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