by Casey Schneider

Continuing with our introduction to Dear Casey (taken from WhiteHeat May 20th, 2007 and August 8th, 2007)

Dear Casey,

With camp jitterbug coming up this weekend, I pose 2 important questions:

1) If you are hosting someone, is it inappropriate to try and make out with them?
2) Conversely, is it inappropriate for guests to try and make out with their host? What if doing allows you to sleep in a bed instead of on the floor?

Preparing for the best/worst,
Swing Girl

Dear Swing Girl,

You have a knack for asking questions that aim right at the slutty core of lindy hop. Well done.

It’s only wrong to try to make out with someone under these circumstances:

1. The other person is not attracted to you.
2. You are in front of at least 2 other people.
3. You wouldn’t find said person attractive if s/he wasn’t a dancer.
4. Your best friend just made out with the same person in the last 24 hours. (After 24 hours, it’s fair game. Like looting a coma victim.)

With these four rules - note I actually parse them into four discrete rules, unlike in Road House - happy lip-locking!

~Casey

P.S. I expect reports post-CJ on the random hook-ups that occur between campers. I don’t need gory details, people, but this type of information is what Lorraine and I thrive on.

Dear Casey,

I was dancing hard all weekend. As a result I fell asleep at one of the dances. I was awoken by a tap on my arm, a hand stretched awkwardly forward and a hopeful set of eyes peering at me.
What do I do in such a situation?

Yours Sleepily,
Dozing Dancer

Dear Dozing,

What an odd circumstance! First, I’m surprised someone woke you up just to dance. One piece of advice to my readership - don’t wake up sleeping people to dance! Unconsciousness is a tacit “No.”

But given that you were woken up, you had to react. Although you could have said a million things, your distilled answer was either Yes or No (you didn’t say). I recommend No. I’m a firm believer in that we teach people how to treat us; if you say Yes, it teaches this person that this behavior is OK, when it was actually inappropriate.

For fun next time (should there be a next time), I recommend adopting a glassy-eyed, vacant stare, and pretending to sleep walk with X out the door of the venue instead of to the dance floor. When X “realizes” you are sleep walking, X will try to wake you up again more fully, at which time you fall on the ground and pretend to have a seizure. That’d be funny.

In the meantime, go take a nap.

Sincerely,
Casey

For the uninitiated, Dear Casey is a satirical twist on the advice columns found in news media. Do take every word she says seriously - your dancing and social life depend on it! Send your questions to casey@lindybloggers.com

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