Dear Casey: Threesomes and how to find a dance partner
by Casey Schneider
Continuing with our introduction to Dear Casey (taken from WhiteHeat Oct.27, 2006 and Feb.04, 2007)
Dear Casey
I’ve been mulling over what to ask you. I was going to start with something lame like “As a DJ, what should I do when people ask for real swing music like BBVD or Mambo #5 and I don’t carry it in my book?”
But instead I will ask about something that is of immediate concern to me. I’ve been dating again and have been out several times over the past two months with a lovely man named ‘J’. At our last date, J told me about his dream relationship, me, him and another woman who would be our caretaker. I soundly told him off and said I wasn’t interested, and wrote him a long email listing all his faults, and not expecting to hear back from him.
Today, he writes me and wants to get back together. What should I do?
oh and Casey - J’s idea of real swing music is Kenny G, he listens to the Smooth Jazz station.
Ms. Starr
Lovely Ms. Starr,
Well, the thing about ideals is that they very rarely come true. Ideally, I’d be able to eat a Dick’s cheeseburger for breakfast daily and have the body of Scarlett Johannsen. What you’re telling me is that his ideal is to find the potentially two women in the known universe that would accept this type of arrangement. You should tell him “good luck with that” and recommend a commune in rural Utah.
To be honest, the real nail in the coffin for me was smooth jazz. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who likes Kenny G, even if you are the only gal in town?
Keep fishin,
Casey
P.S. I was really disappointed when you didn’t have Mambo Number 5, you know.
Dear Casey,
As a new dancer to the Seattle scene, do you have any tips on finding leads to practice with, just short of holding them at gunpoint?
Frustrated in Seattle
Hey Frustrated,
Now that I’m back from second-hand smoking two packs a day with the Czechs and first-hand eating two gelatos a day with the Italians, I’m able to respond. Finding a partner is a less a science and more an art. Not only is it normally preferable that partners be of similar skill level, but generally have a similar “style” (without getting into the semantics of what that means) and outlook on the dance(s). Then there’s the agreement on amount of time to commit and when and what goals you have. Then, the practical concern of potentially having your preferred leads already partnered with someone else.
Given these constraints, perhaps you can start a “leader sampler”. Ask one lead a week to practice for the next two months and see who tastes best, so to speak. (Like the fried mozzarella, chicken wings, and jalapeno popper plate at Chili’s.) Perhaps something will spark, but if it doesn’t, no commitment’s been made on either side.
If that doesn’t work, join me in my crusade to recruit more leads to Seattle. Mmmmmwahahhahaaha.
I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back…ribs.
Casey
Send your questions to casey@lindybloggers.com
